1 post tagged “more 'lites' than your body has room for”
POWERTHIRST
HEY!!!
Do YOU wanna feel SO ENERGETIC?
TRY POWER THIRST -- ENERGY DRINKS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED
GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY. With all new flavors, like
SHOCKOLATE. Chocolate energy! It's like adding chocolate
to AN ELECTRICAL STORM!!! SOUND THE ALARM! YOU'RE GONNA
BE UNCOMFORTABLEY ENERGETIC. What's that? You want
STRAWBERRY??? WELL HOW ABOUT RAWBERRY!!! Made with
LIGHTNING. REAL LIGHTNING. SPORTS (AHH!) You'll be good
at them! It's an ENERGY DRINK for MEN! MENERGY!!!!
These aren't your DAD'S puns. These are energy puns!
TURBO PUNS!!! SCIENCE, ENERGY. SCIENCE, ENERGY.
ELECTROLITES, TURBOLITES, POWERLITES. MORE 'LITES' THAN
YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR!!! You'll be so fast, Mother
Nature will be like "slooooow dooooown" and you'll be
like "F@&% YOU!" and you'll kick her in the face with
your ENERGY LEGS!!!! YOU'LL HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY, ENERGY
(AHH!) Just running ALL THE TIME!!! Power-running, power
-lifting, power-sleeping, power-dating, power-eating,
power-laughing, power-spawning, BABIES. You'll have SO
MANY BABIES. FOUR-HUNDRED BABIES!!! Give Shockolate to
your babies and they'll be good at SPORTS. Make your
babies run ABNORMALLY FAST. They'll run as fast as
KENYANS. People will watch them running and think
they're KENYANS. They'll race as fast as KENYANS.
Against actual KENYANS, and then there will be a TIE
and they'll get deported back to KENYAAA.
HEY, go with the sure thing! Don't gamble on your energy!
(SNAKE EYYYES) Try POWERTHIRST, the energy drink that
will make you (AHH) sports (AHH).
